Breastfeeding tips for the new mom

Breastfeeding can be a hot topic in the online community, so let me start by saying this. I absolutely believe that every family should feed their babies in a way that works best for them. Breast fed, formula fed, a combo of both or even exclusively pumping, any way you do it, as long as your baby is fed and thriving I call that a win. I personally would never want to shame anyone for doing things one way or another, being a mama is already tough enough, I never have understood the need to make ourselves feel even worse. OK end rant. However, for those that are planning to or currently breastfeeding I wanted to share my experience. I remember frantically googling in the first few months of my daughters life and I found reading personal experiences and tips to be so helpful.

So here goes my breastfeeding journey so far. I have been exclusively breastfeeding my daughter for over 9 months, in our case we don’t need to supplement with formula since I have a good supply and unfortunately my daughter never took to bottles so it’s just me and my tatas. I’m currently staying home with my daughter full time so I recognize that not everyone is in that position, but I thought I’d share how I prepared for my breastfeeding journey and the things I do today to keep it going.

1. Prepare. For me, this meant talking to fellow moms about their experiences, talking with my doctor and asking my own mom for tips. I also read one book and one book only. Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding was an excellent guide for me. I especially loved the personal stories of women’s breastfeeding experiences. The information was presented in a no-nonsense manner with lots of great educational points as well as realistic tips for working moms who want to continue to breastfeed and much more. I’d highly recommend giving this a read if breastfeeding is in your future.
2. A supportive partner. I can’t stress this one enough. Breastfeeding is a very intimate relationship between mother and child. And yes, this means that dad may feel a little excluded. But guess what, that’s ok! There are plenty of other ways for dad to get involved! For me that meant keeping dad hands off for feedings but helping in other ways. Instead, for the first few weeks during those long, sleepless nights our situation looked something like this. Baby cried, we both woke up. Dad grabbed baby to change diaper while I used the bathroom and got set up to breastfeed. Dad handed me baby and went back to sleep while I fed. And repeat. My husband woke up with me every single time. Without complaint. Though he owns his own business and works long hours, by waking up with me to at least change her diaper and help me physically set myself up for an hour plus of feeding, it helped both of us feel like we were in on this together. Though I was the one physically feeding our daughter, he was there every step of the way. If mid-feed I realized I’m starving and need a snack, I would gently wake up him and he kindly would grab me something (though we quickly learned to have a snack station set up ahead of time!) Since our daughter was luckily steadily gaining weight we never had to supplement with formula so it was all boob all the time. We did try and introduce a bottle after about a month once breastfeeding was well established but since she never took to that, it wasn’t until my daughter started eating solids that my husband got more involved in her feeding. And you know what, that’s also OK. This is what worked for us. Whether you introduce a bottle sooner or not, a supportive partner who understands that getting the hang of breastfeeding takes time and following the lead of mom can be a huge component of breastfeeding success. If dad is pressuring mom then guess what happens, mom gets stressed and milk supply drops. I personally feel that moms get to call the shots when it comes to feeding, breastfeeding not going great and you want to supplement, awesome go for it! Breastfeeding not going well but you want to call in a lactation consultant or friend for help before supplementing, also great. Honestly, whatever you as the mother decide, I think partners should support. End of story.
3. A supportive healthcare provider. This is another huge one. Pediatricians are amazing people, they really are. But breastfeeding experts they are not. According to this study, “residents are provided with a median total of 9 hours of breastfeeding training over 3 years, primarily in continuity clinic and in lectures and rounds with attendings.” My pediatrician herself told us flat out that she learned more from her own breastfeeding experience than she ever did in her training to be a doctor. She explained that even the growth charts used to track growth of babies is based on formula fed babies so tracking the growth of an exclusively breastfed baby requires a slightly different approach. Of course, every provider is different, but overall I’ve found that having the support of your doctor can absolutely influence the success of your breastfeeding experience. My doctor was very hands on from the beginning, before we were even discharged she came and checked my breasts and explained that it might take a few days for my milk to come in and not to worry. She advised me to put my baby on the boob as much as possible to help stimulate my milk supply and of course ensure that baby was drinking colostrum (the substance that breasts produce prior to milk coming in.) On our day 5 checkup, she again checked both my baby and my breasts to see how I was doing. Luckily, our daughter was steadily gaining weight so our doctor never recommended supplementing as it wasn’t necessary. However, I’ve heard many stories of doctors jumping to formula very early on, without even giving mom a chance to address her breastfeeding woes. My own sister was told to supplement at her one-week checkup and days later during a visit from a lactation consultant, she learned that her milk had yet to come in. Which leads me to my next point.
4. Visit a lactation consultant. I was lucky enough to give birth to my daughter in a baby-friendly hospital. This meant that breastfeeding was encouraged and most of all greatly supported from the first moments of my daughter’s life. I had nurses at my beck and call to help me with each breastfeeding session during my 2 day stay and I also received a lengthy visit from a lactation consultant. I was lucky enough to do this at the hospital, but had I not been I absolutely would have visited one anyway. She thoroughly explained to me what to expect in the coming days/weeks, positions to try, signs of hungriness/fullness, etc. My husband even videotaped our session so if we had any questions we can simply look back on the video and troubleshoot. The visit was definitely very hands on, she watched me feed my daughter, offered tips and practiced positions with me. My lactation consultant was amazing, she calmly answered all my questions and most of all she really instilled a sense of confidence in me that yes, I can do this!
5. Do skin to skin as soon as possible for as long as possible. The minute my daughter was born she was placed on my chest (where she stayed for hours) and she guided herself to the breast almost right away. There have been many studies supporting the positive results of skin to skin contact, one of which includes helping increase breastfeeding initiation and duration. Weighing and measuring a baby can easily be put off (of course this is with the understanding that your baby is born healthy and full term.) I continued to do tons of skin to skin during the first few days/weeks home and I think that also helped in keeping my milk supply up and helping me and my daughter get the hang of this whole breastfeeding thing.
   
6. Feed on demand. I know that some people swear by schedules for their babies and that is great and all, but a newborn doesn’t really go by a schedule. At least not in my experience. I was also encouraged to feed on demand because it can help increase milk supply and help your baby get the hang of breastfeeding (practice makes perfect after all!)
7. The beginning is really, really hard. Don’t get discouraged! No matter how many books you read and how much you prepare, nothing can really prepare you for a tiny human sucking non stop on your nipples. It’s just a feeling that you can’t begin to understand until you do it. And let me tell you, the beginning is hard as hell. Your nipples are cracked and bleeding, your whole body still hurts after recovering from childbirth. It’s one all around uncomfortable feeling that’s for sure. And there will be tears and disappointment. But, just remember. As with all things baby related, this too shall pass. My lactation consultant gave me some advice that resonated, “you’re both new at this and you’re learning as you go.” This put things into perspective for me and helped me push forward when times were tough. And after a couple weeks, we did get the hang of it. After a couple months, we were like pros.
8. Be kind to your body. Whether you deliver naturally or via c-section, either way your body has just been through an intense trauma. Recovery times differ for each mom but for me it took me several weeks to feel semi-normal and months to truly feel like myself again. Breastfeeding means that you continue to share your body with your child and that isn’t always easy. I figured if I was keeping this tiny human alive with milk my body was producing, I had to treat my body right! For me, this meant nourishing my body constantly. Breastfeeding makes mamas hungry and I gave into every hunger craving! I aimed to eat healthy, balanced meals but I wasn’t afraid to indulge myself as well. Yes, this meant that my squishy “mom bod” remains, but to me nourishing my daughter was more important than losing the baby weight. Of course every body is different, some moms swear by breastfeeding to lose weight without even trying. This definitely didn’t happen for me, but I was and still am incredibly proud of my body for nourishing my daughter for 9 months plus (love handles and all! 😉 )
9. Stay positive. This might sound a little weird, but I believe that a big reason for my success is my mindset and my belief in my body. I believe that because I surrounded myself in positivity about breastfeeding, it made the whole process smoother for me. That said, I also told myself that if for some reason breastfeeding wouldn’t work out, I wouldn’t beat myself up. I simply wanted to honor and be kind to myself, whatever the outcome.
10. Use your baby as your guide. For breastfeeding mamas, there is a certain element of control that you have to let go of. There is really no way to determine exactly how much your baby is eating. You simply have to look to your babies for cues of hunger/fullness and use diaper output to determine that baby is fed and happy. For me, this worked out great. I rarely stressed about it and instead paid close attention to my daughter. Sure, at the beginning I was nervous and would wonder if my daughter was full or not, so we charted each feeding closely, which breast, how long etc. Some days she’d literally eat for hours while some days it was 15-20 minutes and she was done. Eventually, I learned that there is no “right amount of time” a baby should eat on the breast. Whenever she cried, I always offered her the breast first, sometimes she’d take it and sometimes she wanted to be soothed in other ways. Her feeding durations have changed greatly since her newborn days, most recently lasting just a few minutes per feed! But I continue to use my daughter as my guide and eventually, we found our groove.

I stayed positive throughout the entire process and thanks to the support of my husband and those around me (and some great online resources like this one!), I was lucky enough to be able to have a fairly smooth breastfeeding experience. I know that not every woman has this kind of experience and I fully realize how lucky I am. Every mom and baby will have a unique journey. At the end of the day, whatever path you take just remember, be kind to yourself and enjoy the ride! Raising babies is hard work, there is absolutely no right or wrong way to feed your baby, there is simply the way that works for you and your family.

Photos by Margo Photography