When people comment on my growing belly the first question they ask is “what are you having?” And often, my response of “we’re waiting to find out” is met with surprise. (I do sometimes say a human baby just to get a chuckle ha) Sometimes it’s a positive reaction of delight. Most often this comes from older women who tell me that they too were surprised due to the lack of technology and they wouldn’t have it any other way. But oftentimes, it’s met with shock and disbelief and sometimes outright anger. “How could you not find out?” “I’d go crazy not knowing!” “Are you sure you want to wait?!”
It’s funny to me that this question of whether the child I’m carrying is a boy or a girl is such a big deal to everyone but my husband and I. We didn’t find out when I was pregnant with my daughter and all the old wives’ tales predicted we’d have a boy. Most everyone around us was so insistent that we were having a boy that when she was born and they announced it was a girl, I couldn’t hide the shock! Needless to say, this time around we are going into it with zero expectations and are simply happy to be having a baby. Boy or girl, we are thrilled with the opportunity to be raising another child and be giving our daughter a sibling. I’m less than three months from meeting this tiny human and his/her gender has barely crossed my mind.
Now I don’t think think there is anything wrong with finding out if you’re having a boy or a girl. All of my friends and family so far have. I know people like to find out for planning purposes or to connect more with their unborn child and I value and respect those reasons. But for me, it just wasn’t and isn’t important. Whether or not I had a boy or a girl was so irrelevant to me. I just wanted a healthy baby. And that moment, that precious moment when the baby is born and you finally get to find out is just so special and something I never would have been able to experience as deeply if I’d known ahead of time.
I love that technology has advanced so far and allowed women and their partners to choose to find out the sex of their baby. Having that choice is an incredible gift. But as for us, let’s just say you won’t be seeing any gender reveal parties anytime soon. For me, having a front row seat to the miracle of life and watching my body change and grow day by day is all I need to know. There’s a baby in there that’s growing and thriving and for that I count my blessings daily.
I thought this excerpt from an article I read summed it up perfectly:
My wife and I debated learning the sex of our first child before birth. I raised the issue with my uncle, a gynaecologist who had delivered more than 5,000 babies. He was prone neither to giving advice nor anything whiffing of spirituality, but he urged me, strongly, not to find out. He said, “If a doctor looks at a screen and tells you, you will have information. If you find out in the moment of birth, you will have a miracle.” — article by Jonathan Safran
I think finding out during pregnancy is miraculous as well of course. The entire pregnancy/childbirth process is nothing but one big giant miracle in my opinion. But that extra layer of waiting to truly “meet” your child until they’re born is something that I absolutely cherish. We have so few surprises in life these days, it was amazing to be able to experience firsthand one of the biggest ones of all ♡♡
No Comments